So a couple of college students were visiting my church today. They had the opportunity to share about their missions trip that they were trying to raise money for. When they finished explaining their situation, they sang this song. I haven’t there this song in forever! As I was listening, I could not help but be moved by how God can use people, including myself, if we are willing to let God work through us.

This was uplifting, especially with how the past 3-4 weeks have shaped the next 4-5 years of my life. I’ll update more on this when I get the chance to. But for now, I leave you with these verses.

Romans 10: 8-15

⁸But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: ⁹That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. ¹¹As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” ¹²For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, ¹³for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

¹⁴How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? ¹⁵And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

Psalm 27: 7-9

⁷Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! ⁸You have said, ”Seek my face.”My heart says to you, ”Your face, LORD, do I seek.”⁹ Hide not your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O you who have been my help. Cast me not off; forsake me not, O God of my salvation!

Luke 19: 2-5

²A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. ³He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. ⁴So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. ⁵When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.”

So in short, God calls us to seek Him and so we must take every opportunity to draw near to Him. However, it is through God revealing Himself and because of His initiative that we are able to have a relationship with Him.

I have always been a big fan of the David Crowder Band. One of the reasons is because of the vivid imagery that he paints in my head with his lyrics. This song in particular really leaves an impression on me. So I’ll try be brief when I describe what goes on in my head whenever I listen to this song.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

They say that whenever a hurricane comes, the only trees that are left standing are the ones that sway and bend to the might of the winds, while the tall and proud trees that refuse to bend get uprooted. With this, I can see how when we surrender and bend to the love that God bestows upon us, we will still be left standing as opposed to where we stand tall and proud refusing to budge and be moved by God’s love, we will eventually be uprooted.

When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Being humans, we are steeped in sin, prone to depravity. But then God sends His Son to die on the cross for our sins to be like an eclipse that blot out the sun so that our names would not be blotted out from the Book of Life. That is because when Jesus comes into our lives, He washes away our sins, eclipsing them so that they are no longer seen.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.

Grace as an ocean. An ocean where there are shores where even the youngest of His children can play but also there are depths to which no man has ever explored for we cannot fully fathom God. So as we sink in His immense grace for us, we are enveloped as it fills our every being, every organ, every pore on our skin till we die to our old selves and become a new creation.

And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

The reason why kisses are so stimulating is because it is a tactile sensory organ that contains that contain alot of nerve endings. There with the intimate contact of one’s lips to another, their lips are not the only things stimulated but almost the person’s entire body. (Yay for anatomy and physiology…) When the point of contact between Heaven and Earth occurred through Jesus being fully man and God, the world lit up and the Heavens rejoiced!

Also, just as a kiss requires around 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles, it was only of great sacrifice, through the Crusifiction of Jesus, that the connection between Heaven and Earth was established.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

Lastly, the song ends with the simple truth of how He loves us. Simply amazing.

So a good friend of mine played this song on the sax last night at church. Not only did he play it but he tore it up! It was sooooo good, no exaggeration at all (his credentials: 2 time all state first chair).

But anywho, while listening to him play this song at my church’s Valentine’s event, I couldn’t help but think of my current love life… or lack there off. This is not what you’re thinking; it’s not me ranting about how single I am, but the exact opposite. As I was singing the lyrics in my head, when I fall in love, I felt God just giving me a reassurance, some sort of peace (not because the song gives providence of God’s goodness but because God can use anyone and anything to reveal Himself to us). It’s as if God was telling me, that if and when I finally get into a relationship, it will be according to His time not mine. It’s not for me to be anxious or worry about because it is all according to His plan.

See relationships, or lack thereof, has always been a struggle between me and God. Especially now that some people I went to college with are are already getting engaged while I’m still in the Future Winners Club. It’s as if I would dialogue with God in my heart. God I want a girlfriend. “Am I not enough for you?” You are, I know you are, I know but in all honesty I don’t always feel it. “Are you seeking wholeheartedly?” No… “Are you running this race for me? Are you running with the finish line as your focus or are you constantly looking around?” Constantly looking around… “That is why, even when I love you more than you can even fathom, I am not enough for you. You are to seek me, you are to pursue me, above everything, I should be the center of your heart, of your life.”

That’s the thing, I get caught up in so many things besides God that God sometimes is not enough for me, even when I know in my head that He should be. So yeah, though I still and would still worry about this from time to time I already see myself growing in learning to trust Him. So until “I give my heart… completely” to another person, I need to continue pursue after the One who gave his heart completely to me on that cross. Instead of spending all my time trying to find the right girl, I should spend my time seeking the One who died for me and actively waiting on Him, so that if and when God blesses me with her, she would also be blessed with the right guy.

Matthew 6: 28-34

²⁸“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So yeah, on a side note, last weekend during brunch, some of my friends were joking about how “wise” I was and one of them asked “Why do guys like girls?” I jokingly said that it’s because they are looking for their missing rib. That joke however reminded me with a quote and I want to share with you guys.

“Woman was created from the rib of man.
She was not created from his head to be above him
Nor was she created from his foot to be trampled by him
She was taken from his side to be his equal,
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
From near his heart to be loved by him.”

So what had happened was, Kevin, Chris, and myself were eating dinner at J2 and we were talking about relationships/dating for some reason. So Kevin and Chris stated they have never had a girlfriend before. So upon hearing this information, I asked them to guess how many I’ve had before (this was folly on my part because I implied that I did have at least 1 before). So they started to play the guessing game and started off with 5 (flattering, I know haha). Then they started to decrease by 1 because I kept telling them lower. Then eventually, they reached the number 0. They said “what?” and I said “yeah =( ” Then Chris states “man we’re losers!” Then I said “Just because we’ve never had girlfriends before doesn’t mean we’re losers, we just haven’t won yet. That makes us future winners!” Then, out of spontaneity, we all raised the number zero with our right hand in triumph and hence, the Future Winners Club was born!

Valentine by Kina Grannis. Enjoy!

So in other words, here’s a piece of what’s in my heart at the moment.

So what can I say

What can I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

And I’ll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

I’ll stand

My soul LORD to You surrenders

All I am is yours

1 O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens.2 From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. 3 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4 what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?

Here, King David is marveling at just how wonderful God is. As he dwells in the magnificence of God, the magnificence that created the heavens and the earth, the magnificence that placed everything into being, he stops to ask the question, what is man? what is man that you are mindful of him, better yet, that you would care for him?

The more I grow in my walk with God, the more I see just how wonderful He truly is. But its so ironic how, the closer I get to God and see His beauty and perfection, the more brokenness I see. Not just the world, not just in the atrocities of mankind, but I painfully see this brokenness in me. I see this brokenness in the ugliness of my sins. Which leads me to ask, who am I that you are mindful of me? Who am I that you care for me?

I guess thats what happens the closer you get closer to Light, the closer you get, the more you are able to see. It’s as if each step you take closer to God means that more scales are being removed from your eyes and with each step closer to God, the more you are able to see the deep and dark crevices of yourself that you want to hide, that you want to just continue to bury deep inside you, hoping that you would never see it again.

However, no matter how deep and how far you bury it, the deepest and darkest places in your life can still be penetrated by the light and love of God. That’s how God always intended it to be. Not that we bury our sins, our brokenness deep within ourselves so we can dwell over it and carry our guilt as a heavy burden, but to lift it up to Him so we can be healed and be restored in Him.

They say that when sculptors look at a block of stone, they don’t look at the block in hopes of forming into an object. Instead, they see the finished product and just chip away at the pieces that don’t belong. When he first starts, he is able to chip away big pieces of stone and make good progress. However, the long and tedious tasks comes in removing those little pieces that distort and create imperfections of what the final product should look like. However, the more the sculptor chips away, the more this block of stone receives details, features, and even an identity.

I guess that’s how it is with us. God not only sees us in our current state, but the men and women He has called us to be. In order for us to get there, God must continue to chip away at things that don’t belong in our life, things that are distorting what we should look like, as creatures made in God’s image.

However, unlike the block of stone that a sculptor works with, we are given the liberty of free will. Sure when God first started chipping away at us, we felt free, we felt that heavy burdens were lifted. However, the more God continues to mold us, we sometimes find ourselves hindering God from moving. We say God I’m not ready to let go of this, or God that part of my life is fun and brings me pleasure, or God this just hurts too much.

But if these imperfections are not remove in our lives we would never be complete. These imperfections are the difference between an unfinished product and being made whole. These imperfections are the difference between being broken and fixed. Just like how a small crack can turn into a huge gaping hole, these imperfections can eventually cause us to crumble. That is why, unless we see ourselves for what we really are, as broken people, we will never allow God to finish what He has started. Unless we see how much we need God, we will never trust Him in removing the tings in our lives that don’t belong. But once we do trust Him, not only will we begin to see the complete picture of what God has called us to be, but we’ll also see begin to see the fullness of His grace that overcomes our imperfections and make us whole.

So in short

So what exactly do I do? I seem to do alot of explaining  whenever someone asks, where do you work? Well, I work at a home health care office. I pretty much deal with the business/communication side of health care.

First, hospitals/physicians/clinics refer us patients. Once the referral comes in via fax, our staff takes a look at his/her papers. This consists diagnoses, medical history, demographics, insurances, and physician orders. When we examine their papers, we decide if we can accept the patient. If we accept, we send one of our 2 head nurses to admit the patient at their home. They take a look at their wounds or other aspects that needs to be treated and decide on the proper procedures to treat the patient.

From there, we contact medical suppliers to equip our nurses with the right supplies and our scheduler contacts other nurses and informs them of the frequency of visits at their home (the number of weekly visits and the number of weeks). From there we also contract MSW’s, OT’s, PT’s, or HHA’s if they are needed and we inform them of the frequency of visits.

Then from the visits of our health professionals, we receive their notes and create plan of cares, oasis, and other paper work, and we ship it out to physicians/hospitals via fax to get their signatures. Upon the success of all of the above, we are then able to bill the patient’s insurances so we can receive money. Amidst all of that, there are plenty of faxes and phone calls that are exchanged between us, insurance companies, patients, hospitals/physicians, medical suppliers, and our health professionals.

So yeah, very boring entry and probably sounds complex/confusing… I don’t know what else to say… thanks for reading?

Ordinary People – John Legend

Here is the original. Love the piano on this one.